A few weeks ago, I lived the life of a spy. I've worn a pretty dress to a wedding, slept in a fancy hotel with bed springs that weren't comfortable, did surveillance at an outdoor art gallery, and got to have a classic spy movie moment.
Here's the long story of my James Bond tale.
Going undercover with my family, we too a road trip to Leominister, Massachusetts. We stayed in a hotel overnight, of which the room seemed very erie. I have a suspicion that the handyman was trying to kill me. The fold-up bed he gave me had some odd springs. I fear if I slept wrong, it might have snapped in two, sealing my doom.
The next morning, we went for a quick swim in the hotel pool. I practiced my underwater skills, and I can now hold my breath for up to five minutes. Although no one in the pool looked suspicious, everyone else--including my own mother, sat in front of all the bubble jets in the Jacuzzi so I couldn't have any. I wonder if she might have gone rouge.
After a quick shower--the head of which might have been sealed with poison--I went down to the lobby for breakfast. The room was vast and bright, but not a good place for meeting with other agents. The walls echoed, and it would be too easy for enemy lines to overhear our conversation. I would have to wait until tonight to complete the first step of the operation.
Meanwhile, I busied myself by sitting down to breakfast. In fact, I didn't do much sitting. It was a buffet, so I grabbed what food I could and sat down to the table. I much prefer other meals of the day to breakfast, but the variety of food was credible. There were the breakfast classics: bacon, eggs, pancakes, toast, oatmeal, cereal, and more. I helped myself to bacon, a couple danishes that were quite good, and a slice of toast with cranberry juice.
After my family left the room to return to our suite, I began to notice that all the staff were looking at me suspiciously. Even the old couple a few tables away were eyeing me. Before I could observe further, one of them came up behind me and tried to put a knife in my back. My instincts kicked in, and I turned around and flipped the assassin onto the table.
The dominoes were set in motion. One by one, the assassins pulled their tricks on me. With a variety of pots, lids, chairs, food, and silverware, attempts were made to pull me to my death. They were fast, but I managed to escape by throwing a small grill onto two of them, and landing a roundhouse kick to the third, and breaking a glass of orange juice onto the last. The old couple did not attack me, but they moved to exit the room. Before they could, I shot sleeping darts out of a mini-dart gun, ran over, and caught them before the could injure themselves.
Without taking a backwards glance at the mess, I casually ran my hand through my hair, and returned back to the dorm.
I quickly checked my communication device to make sure the meeting with my intelligence asset was still in action for later that afternoon. I swiftly decoded the message, and headed off with my family to the Storm King sculpture garden.
We passed by several intriguing sculptures, but I kept my eye out for a specific piece: a work of Andy Goldsworthy. It was called Storm King Wall. I swiftly slipped away from my family, and darted into the grove of trees.
My contact kept hidden in the shadows. He wore a broad-brimmed hat and a long-sleeved black jacket. "Do you enjoy Mr. Goldsworthy's art?" He stated.
"This one is my favorite. The rocks are set up in such a unique fashion." I replied.
"Here is your next job." The man pulled a picture out of his pocket, and briefly showed it to me. "He has a USB flash-drive that has useful information to the agency. He'll give it to you, but you must hand it off to the other agent at your next meeting."
"Where do we meet?" I asked.
The man replied without question. "A small greek diner called Petra's. It's his favorite meeting place."
I nodded once and ran back to join my family.
My family and I drove up to Petra's where we were meeting an old family friend. To my surprise, it was the same spy I was assigned to meet. I listened intently as we all talked, trying to consume a sandwich. For a greek food place, it didn't seem very greek. My little brother ordered a grilled cheese sandwich, and mine was very average. After we all ate and said our goodbyes, the spy handed me the USB. I took it and smiled my thanks.
The next day was the highlight of our trip, and my last assignment. I was very excited, because I had not been to a wedding since I was five years old, and I wanted to live a classic spy moment, like the kinds you would see in movies. My family dressed appropriately for the occasion. I wore a shell pink dress with my new black heels. I inwardly giggled with excitement. Then I realized I had a job to do. I had to pass the USB drive on, or the entire operation would be for nothing.
I am not the very best judge of weddings, but the ceremony was very lovely, and the food was very good. I especially liked the little appetizers that the waitresses served constantly. The cake was also very extravagant. It was decorated in dark chocolate, with a peanut butter and chocolate cake inside. It was both beautiful to look at and also to eat. After the newlywed's first dance, the floor was open to everyone. I stood off to the side watching the dancers and listening to a fairly old song, when I was approached by a woman with dark hair and a sequined grey dress.
"Do you have the USB?" She asked.
I replied yes and handed her the flash drive. She took one last glance at the couple, remarked, "I wish them well," and casually walked out.
I let out a deep breath, having finally begun to relax. I decided to enjoy myself. I ate a couple more appetizers, and danced a little, finally able to have my classic spy moment. I wished all missions could have endings like this.